"Everything You Need to Know
About Sample's Behavioral Style"



Based on The Platinum Rule®
Model of Behavioral Styles
by Dr. Tony Alessandra





Personalized Report for:
Sample eGraph


Table of Contents

Introduction to The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment 3
- Your eGraph Results 6
- Interpreting Your Observer Responses 7
- An Overview of Your Primary Behavioral Style 8
- A Summary of Your Typical Behaviors, Motivators and Growth Opportunities 9
- Your Style on the Job 10
- Your Style in the Social Scene 11
- Your Style’s Behavior and Needs Under Stress 12
- Application of Behavioral Styles with Others 13
- How to Identify another Person’s Style 14
- The Four Basic Styles Overview Chart 17
- What is Behavioral Adaptability 18
- How to Modify Your Directness and Openness 19
- Tension among the Styles 20
- Action Plans for Others 21
- How to Adapt to the Different Behavioral Styles 23
- Additional Platinum Rule Resources 27
Disclaimer 28

Introduction to The Platinum Rule®
Behavioral Style Assessment
"Do Unto Others as THEY Would Have You Do Unto THEM"

Dear Sample,

Congratulations on completing the Platinum Rule® Behavioral Style Assessment. Using your personalized and comprehensive assessment will help you become a better, more productive and successful you. It teaches you how to show more empathy with others, a valuable skill in today’s ’Conceptual Age.’ You learn how how to develop and use more of your natural strengths, while recognizing, improving upon and modifying your limitations. You can then focus more on your goals instead of your fears. This report does not deal with values or judgments. Instead, it concentrates on your natural tendencies that influence your behavior. 


This report is divided into three parts. The first part presents your eGraph results. As you invite others to complete the observer assessment, as they see you, more and more plot points will appear on your eGraph.

The second part focuses on understanding your style characteristics at work, under stress, etc., and offers strategies for increasing your personal effectiveness. Please note that there is no ‘best’ style. Each style has its unique strengths and opportunities for continuing improvement and growth. The strengths and weaknesses, and any behavioral descriptions mentioned in this report, are tendencies only for your style group and may or may not specifically apply to you personally.

The third section of this report focuses on how to use the Platinum Rule concept with others, from how to visually and verbally identify another person’s style to how to adapt your behavior to “connect” with any of the four primary Platinum Rule styles. This last section is the all important successful application of this concept in all of your interpersonal relationships. Your success truly depends on the relationships you build. Why not build them on a foundation of proven, reliable skills?


During your observer assessment period, the results of your observer assessments will be compiled. You can see the results plotted on your customized eGraph. This report helps you interpret the composite results of your observers and provides suggestions on how to modify your behavior to have more effective relationships. It’s an important component to the total Platinum Rule® Behavioral Style Assessment because it truly completes the 360-degree perspective initially promised to you.

Isn’t a simple Self-Assessment Report accurate enough? Yes, but only from your own point of view. Quite often, the behaviors that are measured are more easily observed by others than by oneself. You know, better than others, what your own thoughts and motives are. However, others may be more accurate observers of your actual behavior... and it is behavior that is intended to be measured here.

How did your self-perception compare to your observers’ perceptions? The perceptions others have of our behaviors may or may not best describe who you really are. It is simply a perception of behaviors you exhibit in a particular environment or relationship. The good news is you are not your behaviors. With your new found information on behavioral styles, you have choices to modify those behaviors if needed.

Studies have shown that the most effective people know themselves, know the needs or demands of the situation or relationship, and adapt their behaviors to meet those needs.

The goal of these assessments is to help you become aware of your behaviors and the impact they can have on others. Then by practicing suggested behavior changes, you can enhance the relationships that otherwise have been strained.

If your observers saw you as a different Primary Behavioral Style and you want complete information about that style, you can obtain it in Part III. 


Both historical and contemporary research reveal more than a dozen models of our behavioral differences, but many share one common thread: the grouping of behavior into four categories. The Platinum Rule® focuses on patterns of external, observable behaviors using scales of directness and openness that each style exhibits. Because we can see and hear these external behaviors, it becomes much easier to ‘read’ people. This model is simple, practical, and easy to remember and use.

As you read the descriptions of each style in Part III of your report, think about your new insights into your preferences. You might prefer relationships to tasks, perhaps you act slower rather than faster, or maybe you like to tell people what you think rather than keep it to yourself. Then think about the people around you in the office or at school… what style do their behavioral tendencies reflect? The descriptions and adaptability guidelines in Part III will help you get on the same wavelength with each of the four styles. Keep in mind that no one style is better than another. Each has its’ own strengths and weaknesses. 


This report will identify ways that you can apply your style strengths or modify your style weaknesses in order to meet the needs of a particular situation or relationship. This is called adaptability. Social scientists call it ‘social intelligence.’

There’s been a lot written lately on how your social intelligence is as important as your Intelligence Quotient (IQ) in being successful in today’s world. In some cases, social intelligence is even more important than IQ. No matter what you do -- doctor, lawyer, business professional, in sales, service, high tech or blue collar -- The aptitude for relating to and connecting with others will take on more and more importance as a key to success today and in the future.

Imagine the benefits of understanding how to treat people the way they want to be treated! Your interactions with people can change dramatically. Shaky relationships can suddenly become good ones. Good relationships can now be even better than before. If only for the stress it eliminates in interpersonal relationships, this profile is worth its weight in …platinum!


is personal chemistry and productive relationships. You do not have to change your personality, ideas, beliefs or values. You do not have to roll over and submit to others. You simply have to understand what drives people and recognize your options for dealing with them. The key objective of this whole concept is understanding your own style, understanding and being able to quickly and accurately identify the style of others, and then adapting so that you treat others the way they want to be treated.

These are powerful life-skills that will serve you well in all your relationships: work, friends, school, spouse, and children. Improved relationships create infinite possibilities.


On page 6 you will find your personalized eGraph results. Chances are good that your perception of yourself is fairly accurate, but only from your personal point of view. Quite often, the behaviors we’re measuring with The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment are more easily observed by others than by yourself. You know better than others what your own thoughts and motives are. But others may be more accurate observers of your actual behavior... and it is behavior that we’re intending to measure.

If there is a large discrepancy between your self-assessment and the observer assessments, resist the temptation to dismiss their perceptions. Instead, ask yourself about the implications of these differences. Realize that you possess more assets-and more areas for improvement-than you first might have thought. At the very least, the differences may provide you with some valuable insights.

It is quite common for people to see themselves differently from the way others see them. The good news is that it gives you an opportunity to learn more about yourself, to become more effective in ways you may not have ever thought about before.

Since your eGraph may be updated throughout the Observer period, it may change from time to time. At the end of the Observer period, we suggest you download and save your report in the PDF format to have your most current eGraph included in this report – and then continue with the interpretation of your eGraph. 


Research indicates that the people who are closest to you are the most aware of your behavioral style. They work with you or socialize with you every day and see many facets of your behaviors, such as the ways that you work with people, your preference for working alone or with others, and your reactions to stress, confrontations, triumphs, frustrations, and so on. Often these interpretations will cluster around the same area of your eGraph.

To help you interpret your eGraph, we’ll look at the plot points of people who know you in your various observer settings and ask some questions to help you interpret the results. 

eGraph Results for Sample eGraph


Observers who know you in this setting: Social
Average of Observers in this setting: Social
(will only display if more than 3 observers)
Observers who know you in this setting: Work
Average of Observers in this setting: Work
(will only display if more than 3 observers)
Observers who know you in this setting: Family
Average of Observers in this setting: Family
(will only display if more than 3 observers)

Interpreting Your Observer Responses

Refer to a copy of your eGraph on page 6.

1. Take a look at the responses from your various observers. Are the plot points scattered or clustered?



2. What does this tell you?



3. If they are scattered, how do you explain these differences?



4. Are the various observer responses similar or different? What does this tell you?



5. Were your observer responses similar or different from your response? What does this mean to you?



6. Do most of your plots fall above or below the center horizontal line indicating that you use mostly open behaviors (Above: Socializer and Relater) or mostly guarded behaviors (Below: Director and Thinker)?



7. Do most of your plots fall to the right or left of the center vertical line indicating that you use mostly direct behaviors (Right: Director and Socializer) or mostly indirect behaviors (Left: Relater and Thinker)?



8. Choose one relationship you would like to improve. Determine the other person’s style (See Part III of this report). Choose 2-3 simple behaviors from Part III that you can modify in your behavior to elicit a different, more positive response. Repeat this exercise, as needed, for other important people in your life.

Part II


The primary goal that motivates you is predictable results. You pay attention to key processes and details, as well as to proven procedures and relationships.  Your methodical approach, thoroughness, and dependability make you a valued employee in organizations that involve highly specialized and focused work.  Although you are not opposed to change, you want to be sure the change is attainable and will result in the desired improvement.


  • Follow established expectations and rules
  • Prefer to have control over procedures
  • Attend precisely to details and follow-through
  • Dislike opposition, hostility, and adversity
  • Desire stability and clarity
  • Be restrained, face-saving and risk-averse
  • Work comfortably in administrative or supporting roles
  • Become more reserved and indirect; even secretive and highly judgmental when under pressure


     With Tasks:

You're continually on the lookout for ideal solutions, so you may miss the less-than-perfect opportunity.  Or, you may overlook the cumulative worth of piecemeal progress.  You would benefit by developing more realistic expectations.  For example, you should learn to manage risk and contingencies rather than avoiding them altogether, and get more comfortable with "trade-offs" when making decisions.

     With People:

Uncomfortable with in-depth involvement with people, you may need to work at building and using better social skills.  You could benefit, for instance, by collaborating more and by being open and honest in expressing your thoughts.  As those skills improve, so will your comfort with and enjoyment of differing types of people.  That, in turn, can bolster your self-esteem.


  • Learn to adjust to less-than-perfect alternatives if they're available and workable.
  • Be more open and forthright in expressing your thoughts.
  • Be more genuinely open to people different from yourself.  Identify at least one or two new growth goals each year that involve improving your adaptability.

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Typical Behaviors:

  • Not fond of huggers and touchers
  • Work slowly and precisely on their own
  • In business environments, Thinkers want others to be credible, professional, and courteous
  • Almost always deliver on their promises, which they are careful about making in order to avoid unneeded difficulties
  • Prefer an intellectual work environment
  • Great irritation is disorganized, illogical people
  • Resourceful individuals who look at life in multiple ways, many of which are unique, ingenious and highly creative
  • Concerned with analytical processes and are persistent, systematic problem solvers
  • More interested in quality than quantity; prefer lower output to inferior results
  • Cautious in their actions and decisions

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Typical Motivators:

  • motivated by the desire to be correct based upon the fact that they strive to do things right
  • An environment where they can share their rich supplies of information with small groups of co-workers who can benefit from their wealth of experience and knowledge
  • Prefer to work with colleagues who promote calmness and thoroughness in the office
  • A work environment where they know exactly what is expected of them
  • Freedom to set the quality control standards and check to see if they're properly implemented
  • Ability to work with complete data systems or able to formulate some themselves
  • Being viewed by others as dependable

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Typical Growth Opportunities: 

  • Primary weaknesses are their procrastination and conservative nature, which promote their tendency to be picky and over-cautious
  • Their means for avoiding conflicts include self-protective actions such as building personal armor that makes it difficult for others to penetrate
  • Can benefit from checking only the critical things rather than everything which allows them to sort out and control the important details and still get things done well
  • Thinkers would benefit by sharing their concerns with others in the spirit of forging a common bond
  • Need to openly state unpopular decisions
  • When stressed or under pressure, they just want to be left alone
  • Tend to be indecisive, especially when dealing with more complex, new, or adverse situations
  • Need to try shortcuts and time-saving occasionally
  • Because of their low risk-taking tendencies, they may over plan when change becomes inevitable
  • Tend to be critical of their own performance

Thinkers on the Job

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Typical Business Behaviors:

  • Intuitive and original; once they know the expected structure, they may invent their own structure, method, or model
  • More interested in quality than quantity; prefer lower output to inferior results
  • Can set the quality control standards and check to see if they are properly implemented
  • Want to be right, so Thinkers employ logical thinking processes to avoid mistakes
  • Concerned with process; want to know how something works
  • Work with complete data systems, or can formulate some themselves

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Suggestions to be More Effective at Work:

  • Share your own feelings and concerns with colleagues
  • Recognize and acknowledge the feelings of others... remember that many people are unable to check their feelings and personal problems at the door when they enter the workplace
  • Be more accepting of the ideas and behavior of others, recognizing that your way may not be the only way to achieve quality results
  • Interact informally with your supervisor and coworkers... this will help you to know and understand them better as well as give you some insights into the work problems that they are facing
  • Accept the fact that you generally will not be able to achieve perfection in your work... adopt a reasonable standard of high quality that is appropriate for your type of work

Here are Some Suggestions For Others Working with Thinkers:

  • Be detailed, accurate, and logical
  • Provide solid, tangible evidence
  • List advantages and disadvantages of any plan
  • Show commitment through your actions, not just words
  • Support their organized, thoughtful approach when possible

Thinkers in the Social Scene

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Typical Social Behaviors:

  • Discreet and tactful; usually will not tell secrets or the naked truth
  • Socially cool and distant - wait for others to take the social initiative
  • Guarded - Prefer small group of friends with whom they can let down their shield
  • Quiet and observant; like to collect information before they enter relationships
  • Participate in organized activities where they can be right
  • Favor conflict-free environments

As a Thinker Style, Here are Some Suggestions to be More Effective Socially:

  • Avoid dwelling on someone else's mistakes
  • Occasionally confront a colleague (or boss) with whom you disagree, instead of avoiding or ignoring them and doing what you want to do anyway
  • Tone down your tendency to OVER prepare
  • Check less often, or only check the critical things (not everything), allowing the flow of the process to continue
  • Accept the fact that you can have high standards without expecting perfection
  • Adjust more quickly to changes, disorganization, and errors
  • Accept and laugh at personal limitations
  • Take more initiative by talking to someone else first

Here are Some Suggestions For the Friends of Thinkers:

  • Show them by what you do, not what you say
  • Respond rather formally and politely
  • Privately acknowledge them and share your thinking
  • Use a logical approach
  • Focus on how pleased you are with their procedures

The Thinkers Behavior and Needs Under Stress

As a Thinker Style, Under Stress You May Appear:

  • Unable to meet deadlines
  • Slow to act
  • Resistant to change
  • Unimaginative
  • Withdrawn

As a Thinker Style, Under Stress You Need:

  • Understanding of principles and details
  • Accuracy
  • Guarantees that they are right

As a Thinker Style, Your Typical Behaviors in Conflict:

  • Their tendency to be something of a loner may make it more difficult for other people to trust Thinkers, although their demonstrated reliability tends to offset this.
  • Although Thinkers generally avoid overt conflict, they may speak out on a matter of principle in order to protect their high standards.
  • Thinkers tend to hold conflicts or conflicting views in their mind, looking for proof that they are right or a new valid way of looking at things that accommodates both points of view.

Strategies to Reduce Conflict and Increase Harmony With Others:

  • Stand up for yourself with supervisors, friends, and coworkers rather than avoiding them or pretending to go along with them.
  • Include all the people involved with a project in your decision-making process. Ask for their suggestions as well as their data.
  • Be more open with your friends and coworkers, sharing your feelings, needs and concerns with them.

Part III

Application of Behavioral Styles with Others


Understanding your own behavioral style and natural tendencies are just the first step to enhancing relationships. All the knowledge in the world doesn’t mean much if you don’t know how to apply it in real life situations. That’s what the rest of this report is all about­.

To really begin to use the power of behavioral styles, you also need to know how to apply the information to people and situations. Remember, people want to be treated according to their behavioral style, not yours!

This application section includes:

  • How To Identify Another Person’s Behavioral Style
  • The Four Basic Styles Overview
  • What is Behavioral Adaptability?
  • How to Modify Your Directness and Openness
  • Tension Among The Styles
  • Action Plans with All Four Styles
  • How To Adapt To The Different Behavioral Styles

This section will help you to understand how to be more effective in relationships and situations. Good relationships can get better and challenging relationships may become good.

After reviewing the information, select a relationship in which things have not gone as smoothly as you would like. Then identify the behavioral style of the other person using the How to Identify Another Person’s Behavioral Style section. You can read about their style in The Four Basic Styles Overview.

The section on What Is Behavioral Adaptability gives you an in-depth insight into what adaptability is, what it is not, and why it’s so important to all your interpersonal relationships. Once you know their style and preferences for directness and/or openness, you can use the How to Modify Your Directness and Openness section to adjust in these areas when relating to this person. You will be amazed at the difference.

To further understand the tension that may exist in the relationship, you can refer to the Tension Among the Styles section. Being aware that the differences in preference in pace and priority, and modifying accordingly, can make a big difference. The Action Plans with All Four Styles section will give you a summary of needs and suggested actions to meet those needs. And finally, the last section, How to Adapt to the Different Behavioral Styles, will give you suggestions when dealing with each of the four basic styles.

How To Identify Another Person’s Behavioral Style

How do you quickly and accurately identify each of the four behavioral styles in order to practice adaptability? You do this by focusing on two areas – openness and directness. How open or guarded is the person and how direct or indirect is the person?

OPENNESS (Willingness to share feelings, thoughts and opinions):

Open Behaviors 
  • Shows feelings and enthusiasm
  • More relaxed and warm
  • Emphasizes main ideas
  • Goes with the flow
  • Conversation includes digressions
  • Opinion-oriented
  • Animated facial expressions
  • Friendly handshake
  • Initiates/accepts physical contact
Guarded Behaviors 
  • Keeps feelings private
  • Limited range of facial expressions
  • More formal and proper
  • Avoids/minimizes physical contact
  • Goes with the agenda
  • Speaks in specifics; cites facts
  • Formal handshake
  • Conversation stays on subject

DIRECTNESS (Measure of a person’s natural pace; degree of assertiveness):

Indirect Behaviors 
  • Infrequent use of gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
  • More patient and cooperative
  • Often makes qualified statements
  • Gentle handshake
  • Infrequent contributor in groups
  • More likely to wait for others to introduce themselves
  • Reserves expression of opinions
Direct Behaviors 
  • Frequently uses gestures and voice intonation to emphasize points
  • Less patient; more competitive
  • Often makes emphatic statements
  • Sustained eye contact
  • Frequent contributor in groups
  • Firm handshake
  • Expresses opinions readily
  • More likely to introduce self to others


When you combine the two scales, you arrive at each of the four different behavioral styles. Individuals who exhibit guarded and direct behaviors are Director Styles. People who are both direct and open are Socializer Styles. People who exhibit open and indirect behaviors are Relater Styles. Finally, indirect and guarded people are Thinker Styles.

So, to quickly identify the styles of other people ask these two questions:

  1. Are they more direct and fast-paced or indirect and slower-paced?
  2. Are they more guarded and task-oriented or open and people-oriented?

The Four Basic Styles Overview

Below is a chart to help you understand some of the characteristics of each of the four basic styles, so you can interact with each style more effectively. Although behavioral style is only a partial description of personality, it is quite useful in describing how a person behaves, and is perceived, in various settings.

PACE - Fast/Decisive - Fast/Spontaneous - Slower/Relaxed - Slower/Systematic
PRIORITY - Goal - People - Relationship - Task
SEEKS - Productivity
- Control
- Participation
- Applause
- Acceptance - Accuracy
- Precision

- Administration
- Leadership
- Pioneering

- Persuading
- Motivating
- Entertaining

- Listening
- Teamwork
- Follow-through

- Planning
- Systematizing
- Orchestration


- Impatient
- Insensitive to others
- Poor Listener

- Inattentive to detail
- Short attention span
- Low follow-through

- Oversensitive
- Slow to begin action
- Lacks global perspective

- Perfectionists
- Critical
- Unresponsive

FEARS - Being taken advantage of - Loss of Social recognition

- Sudden changes Instability

- Personal criticism of their work


- Inefficiency
- Indecision

- Routines
- Complexity

- Insensitivity
- Impatience

- Disorganization
- Impropriety


- Dictatorial
- Critical

- Sarcastic
- Superficial

- Submissive
- Indecisive

- Withdrawn
- Headstrong


- Control
- Leadership

- Playfulness
- Others’ approval

- Friendship
- Cooperation

- Preparation
- Thoroughness


- Impact

- Results
- Track record

- Acknowledgments
- Applause
- Compliments

- Compatibility

- Contribution
- Teamwork

- Precision
- Accuracy
- Quality of results


- Efficient
- Busy
- Structured

- Interacting
- Busy
- Personal

- Friendly
- Functional
- Personal

- Formal
- Functional
- Structured

What is Behavioral Adaptability?

Adaptability is your willingness and ability to adjust your approach or strategy based on the particular needs of the situation or relationship at a particular time. It’s something applied more to yourself (to your patterns, attitudes and habits) than to others.

No one style is naturally more adaptable than another. For any situation, the strategic adjustments that each style needs to make will vary. The decision to employ specific adaptability techniques is made on a case-by-case basis: you can choose to be adaptable with one person, and not so with others. You can choose to be quite adaptable with one person today and less adaptable with that same individual tomorrow. Adaptability concerns the way you manage your own behaviors.

You practice adaptability each time you slow down for a Thinker or Relater Style; or when you move a bit faster for the Director or Socializer Styles. It occurs when the Director or Thinker Styles take the time to build the relationship with a Relater or Socializer Style; or when the Socializer or Relater styles focus on facts or get right to the point with Director or Thinker styles. It means adjusting your own behavior to make other people feel more at ease with you and the situation

Adaptability does not mean “imitation” of the other person’s style. It does mean adjusting your openness, directness, pace, and priority in the direction of the other person’s preference; while maintaining your own identity.

Adaptability is important to all successful relationships. People often adopt a different style in their professional lives than they do in their social or personal lives. We tend to be more adaptable at work with people we know less; and we tend to be less adaptable at home and with people we know better.

Adaptability at its extreme could make you appear wishy-washy and two-faced. A person who maintains high adaptability in all situations may not be able to avoid stress and inefficiency. There is also the danger of developing tension from the stress of behaving in a “foreign” style. Usually, this is temporary and may be worth it if you gain rapport with others. At the other end of the continuum, no adaptability would cause others to view someone as rigid and uncompromising because they insist on behaving according to their own natural pace and priority.

Effectively adaptable people meet other people’s needs and their own. Through practice, they are able to achieve a balance: strategically managing their adaptability by recognizing when a modest compromise is appropriate, or, when the nature of the situation calls for them to totally adapt to the other person’s behavioral style, they do so. Adaptable people know how to negotiate relationships in a way that allows everyone to win. They are tactful, reasonable, understanding, and non-judgmental.

Your adaptability level influences how others judge their relationship with you. Raise your adaptability level and trust and credibility go up; lower your adaptability level and trust and credibility go down. Adaptability enables you to interact more productively with difficult people and helps you to avoid or manage tense situations. With adaptability you can treat the other people the way they want to be treated.

How to Modify Your Directness and Openness

In some interpersonal situations, you will only be able to identify another person’s directness or openness, but not both. In these situations, you need to know how to practice adaptability, one behavioral dimension at a time. With that in mind, let’s look at what you can do to modify YOUR level of Directness or Openness before looking at specific guidelines for being more adaptable with each of the four styles.


  • Speak and move at a faster pace
  • Initiate conversation and decisions
  • Give recommendations
  • Use direct statements rather than roundabout questions
  • Use a strong, confident voice
  • Challenge and tactfully disagree, when appropriate
  • Face conflict openly, but don’t conflict with the person
  • Increase your eye contact


  • Talk, walk and decide more slowly
  • Seek and acknowledge others’ opinions
  • Share decision-making and leadership
  • Lessen your energy level; be more mellow
  • Do not interrupt
  • When talking, provide pauses to give others a chance to speak
  • Refrain from criticizing, challenging, or acting pushy
  • When disagreeing, choose words carefully
  • Share feelings; show more emotion
  • Respond to the expression of others’ feelings
  • Pay personal compliments
  • Take time to develop the relationship
  • Use friendly language
  • Communicate more; loosen up and stand closer
  • Be willing to digress from the agenda
  • Get right to the task – the bottom line
  • Maintain more of a logical, factual orientation
  • Keep to the agenda
  • Do not waste the other person’s time
  • Do not initiate physical contact
  • Downplay your enthusiasm and body movement
  • Use businesslike language

Tension Among the Styles

Each style has a unique set of priorities as to whether the relationship or the task aspect of a situation is more important; and each has its own pace in terms of how fast things should be done.

The Tension Among the Styles Model on the next page relates pace and priority characteristics to behavioral styles. Refer to this model while reading this section.

Notice that the Director Style and Socializer Style tend to prefer a faster pace; the Relater Style and Thinker Style both tend to prefer a slower pace. These style combinations will get along well as far as pace is concerned, but watch out for their priorities!

Take a relationship with a Director and a Socializer. Both are relatively fast-paced behavioral types. Yet the Socializer places more emphasis on people than on tasks, while the Director tends to pursue goals with less concern for relationships or feelings. Some degree of tension is likely to result in their interaction due to their difference in priority.

Where priorities are concerned, the Socializer does better with the Relater. These two will still be getting to know each other while the Thinker and the Director are headlong into the task. However, without some awareness and accommodation for their differences in pace, tension may build as well in the Socializer and Relater interaction when these two finally do get around to the tasks at hand. The Socializer usually prefers fast action, whereas the Relater wants to take a slower and steady approach.

Consider the goal/task-oriented team of the Director and Thinker (another example of pace-based tension). The faster-paced Director likes to make quick decisions. The slower-paced Thinker gets uptight when having to make decisions without an opportunity to fully analyze all the alternatives.

When dissimilar pairings occur, as they often do in many work and social encounters, one or the other of the individuals must make adjustments in his style to avoid increasing tension in the other person. This does not mean you must sacrifice your personality or become something you are not. Ideally, both people would demonstrate some adaptability and move part of the way. Depending on the circumstances however, only one of the individuals may recognize the potential problem, or be sufficiently motivated to do something about it.

When interactions join styles that differ in both their pace and priority preferences (a diagonal relationship on the model graphic), things really get interesting! Here the probability of relationship tension is even greater. This occurs in the Director and Relater relationship, as well as in the Socializer and Thinker relationship.

Take the case of the Director and Relater interaction: the Director should try to show some concern for people rather than appearing to treat them only as a resource toward goal accomplishment. The Relater should try to show more concern for task completion, even if it means temporarily putting the personal relationships aside. Both individuals should also attempt adjustments in pace and perhaps, meet in the middle with a moderate pace.

The same applies to the Socializer and Thinker relationship. Adjustments should be made in both pace and priority.

The key to managing tension is to know when to expect pace and priority problems, and have a strategy to prevent or deal with these difference.

Action Plans With All Four Styles...

Concerned with stability Show how your idea minimizes risk
Think emotionally  Explain your reasoning
Want documentation and facts Provide data and proof
Like personal involvement Demonstrate your interest in them
Need to know step-by-step sequence Provide outline and one-two-three instructions as you personally "walk them through"
Want others to notice their patience and perseverance Compliment for their steady follow-through
Avoid risks and changes Give them personal assurances
Dislike conflict Act non-aggressively, focus on common interest
Accommodate others Allow them to provide service or support for others
Look for calmness and peace Provide relaxing, friendly atmosphere
Enjoy teamwork Provide them with a cooperative group
Want sincere feedback that they're appreciated Acknowledge their easygoing manner and helpful efforts, when appropriate
Accepts tasks readily but has difficulty delegating because they don't like taking risks and feel they'd be in trouble if the delegation went wrong. Explain how others will benefit from the opportunity to develop their skills and, by overseeing effectively, there will be little risk.
Concerned with approval and appearances Show them that you admire and like them
Seek enthusiastic people and situations Behave optimistically and provide upbeat setting
Think emotionally Support their feelings when possible
Want to know the general expectations Avoid involved details, focus on the "big picture"
Need involvement and people contact Interact and participate with them
Like changes and innovations Vary the routine; avoid requiring long-term repetition by them
Want others to notice THEM Compliment them personally and often
Often need help getting organized Do it together
Look for action and stimulation Keep up a fast, lively, pace
Surround themselves with optimism Support their ideas and don't poke holes in their dreams; show them your positive side
Want feedback that they "look good" Mention their accomplishments, progress and your genuine appreciation
Easily persuades others to take on tasks that don't interest them, but has difficulty delegating because they feel they would lose personal status and they haven't got the time or patience to explain in detail. Explain that if they just take the time to think through and explain what is required, good results will follow and they will get the credit for being good managers.

Action Plans With All Four Styles...Continued

Concerned with aggressive approaches Approach them in an indirect, non-threatening way
Think logically Give detailed reasoning
Seek data Give it to them in writing
Need to know the process Provide explanations and rationale
Proceed  with caution Allow them to think, enquire and check before they make decisions
Want others to notice their accuracy Compliment them on their thoroughness and correctness when appropriate
Gravitate toward quality control Let them assess and be involved in the process when possible
Avoid conflict Tactfully ask for clarification and assistance you may need
Need to be right Allow them time to find the best or "correct" answer, within available limits
Like to contemplate Tell them "why" and "how"
Has difficulty delegating because they can't trust other people to do it the same way and as perfectly as they would. Explain that perfection is not always necessary and, given detailed instructions, good results will follow even if produced by a different method.
Concerned with being Number 1 Show them how to win
Think logically Display reasoning
Want facts and highlights Provide concise data
Strive for results Agree on goals and boundaries, then give support or get out of their way
Like personal choices Allow them to "do their thing," within limits
Like change Vary routine
Want others to notice accomplishments Compliment them on what they've done
Need to be in charge Let them take the lead, but give them parameters
Tendency towards conflict Argue with conviction on points of disagreement, backed up with facts; don't argue "feelings"
Impatient for results so do it themselves Persuade them 'now' is not always necessary and work-life balance is good
Frequently gives tasks to others but has difficulty delegating because they need to be in control and don't want to give up their time in giving instructions. Explain that, if they can be a bit less impatient, delegating properly will bring long-term benefits to the organization by developing other people so they can also produce more results.



They’re time-sensitive; so don’t waste their time. Be organized and get to the point. Give them relevant information and options, with probabilities of success. Give them written details to read at their leisure – all on a single page.

The Director Styles are goal-oriented, so appeal to their sense of accomplishment. Stroke their egos by supporting their ideas and acknowledge their power and prestige. Let the Director have their say because they are not the type who will take a back seat to others.

With the Director Style, in general, be efficient and competent.

At Work – Help Them To:

  • More realistically gauge risks
  • Exercise more caution and deliberation before making decisions
  • Follow pertinent rules, regulations, and expectations
  • Recognize and solicit others’ contributions
  • Tell others the reasons for decisions
  • Cultivate more attention/responsiveness to emotions

Sales and Service Strategies with Director Styles:

  • Plan to be prepared, organized, fast-paced, and always to the point
  • Meet them in a professional and businesslike manner
  • Learn and study their goals and objectives – what they want to accomplish, how they currently are motivated to do things, and what they would like to change
  • Suggest solutions with clearly defined and agreed upon consequences as well as rewards that relate specifically to their goals
  • Get to the point
  • Provide options and let them make the decision, when possible
  • Let them know that you don’t intend to waste their time

In Social Settings:

  • Convey openness and acceptance of them
  • Listen to their suggestions
  • Summarize their achievements and accomplishments
  • Give them your time and undivided attention
  • Appreciate and acknowledge them when possible


The Socializer Styles thrive on personal recognition, so pour it on sincerely. Support their ideas, goals, opinions, and dreams. Try not to argue with their pie-in-the-sky visions; get excited about them.

Socializers are social butterflies, so be ready to flutter around with them. A strong presence, stimulating and entertaining conversation, jokes, and liveliness will win them over. They are people-oriented, so give them time to socialize. Avoid rushing into tasks.

With the Socializer Styles, in general, be interested in them.

At Work – Help Them To:

  • Attend to key details and improve their follow-through efforts
  • Monitor socializing to keep it in balance with other aspects of life
  • Write things down and work from a list, so they’ll know what to do when
  • Prioritize activities and focus on tasks in order of importance
  • Become more organized and orderly in the way they do things
  • Get the less appealing tasks of the day over with early
  • Pay more attention to time management of activities
  • Check to make sure they’re on course with known tasks or goals

Sales and Service Strategies with Socializer Styles:

  • Show that you’re interested in them, let them talk, and allow your animation and enthusiasm to emerge
  • Take the initiative by introducing yourself in a friendly and informal manner and be open to new topics that seem to interest them
  • Support their dreams and goals
  • Illustrate your ideas with stories and emotional descriptions that they can relate to their goals or interests
  • Clearly summarize details and direct these towards mutually agreeable objectives and action steps
  • Provide incentives to encourage quicker decisions
  • Give them testimonials

In Social Settings:

  • Focus on a positive, upbeat, warm approach
  • Listen to their personal feelings and experiences
  • Respond openly and congenially
  • Avoid negative or messy problem discussions
  • Make suggestions that allow them to look good
  • Don’t require much follow-up, detail or long-term commitments
  • Give them your attention, time and presence
  • Publicly and privately acknowledge them
  • Focus on how glad you are when they succeed


They are relationship-oriented and want warm and fuzzy relationships, so take things slow, earn their trust, support their feelings, and show sincere interest. Talk in terms of feelings. Relaters don’t want to ruffle feathers. They want to be assured that everyone will approve of them and their decisions. Give them time to solicit co-workers’ opinions. Never back a Relater Style into a corner. It is far more effective to apply warmth to get this chicken out of its egg than to crack the shell with a hammer.

With the Relater Style, in general, be non-threatening and sincere.

At Work – Help Them To:

  • Utilize shortcuts and discard unnecessary steps
  • Track their growth
  • Avoid doing things the same way
  • Realize there is more than one approach to tasks
  • Become more open to some risks and changes
  • Feel sincerely appreciated
  • Speak up and voice their thoughts and feelings
  • Modify the tendency to do what others tell them
  • Accept credit and praise, when appropriate

Sales and Service Strategies with Relater Styles:

  • Get to know them more personally and approach them in a non-threatening, pleasant, and friendly (but professional) manner.
  • Develop trust, friendship, and credibility at a relatively slow pace
  • Ask them to identify their own emotional needs, as well as their task or work expectations
  • Get them involved by focusing on the human element… that is, how something affects them and their relationships with others
  • Avoid rushing them and give them personal, concrete assurances, when appropriate
  • Communicate with them in a consistent manner on a regular basis

In Social Settings:

  • Focus on a slower-paced, steady approach
  • Avoid arguments and conflict
  • Respond sensitively and sensibly
  • Privately acknowledge them with specific, believable compliments
  • Allow them to follow through on concrete tasks
  • Show them step-by-step procedures
  • Behave pleasantly and optimistically
  • Give them stability and a minimum of change


They are time-disciplined, so be sensitive to their schedules. They need details, so give them data. They are task-oriented, so don’t expect to become their friend before working with them. Friendship may develop later, but, unlike the Socializer Styles, it is not a prerequisite.

Support the Thinker Styles in their organized, thoughtful approach to problem solving. Be systematic, logical, well prepared, and exact with them. Give them time to make decisions and work independently. Allow them to talk in detail. In work groups, do not expect the Thinkers to be leaders or outspoken contributors, but do rely on them to conduct research, crunch numbers, and perform detailed legwork for the group. If appropriate, set guidelines and exact deadlines. The Thinker Styles like to be complimented on their brainpower, so recognize their contributions accordingly.

With the Thinker Styles, in general, be thorough, well prepared, detail-oriented, business-like, and patient.

At Work – Help Them To:

  • Share their knowledge and expertise with others
  • Stand up for themselves with the people they prefer to avoid
  • Shoot for realistic deadlines and parameters
  • View people and tasks less seriously and critically
  • Balance their lives with both interaction and tasks
  • Keep on course with tasks, with less checking
  • Maintain high expectations for high priority items, not every minor detail

Sales and Service Strategies with Thinker Styles:

  • Prepare, so that you can answer as many of their questions accurately
  • Greet them cordially, but proceed quickly to the task; don’t start with personal or social talk
  • Hone your skills in practicality and logic
  • Ask questions that reveal a clear direction and that fit into the overall scheme of things
  • Document how and why something applies
  • Give them time to think; avoid pushing them into hasty decisions
  • Tell them both the pros and cons of the complete story
  • Follow through and deliver what you promise

In Social Settings:

  • Use a logical approach
  • Listen to their concerns, reasoning, and suggestions
  • Respond rather formally and politely
  • Negative discussions are OK, as long as they aren’t personally directed
  • Privately acknowledge them about their thinking
  • Focus on how pleased you are with their procedures
  • Solicit their insights and suggestions
  • Show them by what you do, not what you say

Additional Platinum Rule Resources

Free Resources

The Platinum Rule® eWorkbook - Discover which style seeks power and which one wants results. Who loves consistency and who fears change? This knowledge shows you how to sell your ideas and win people over. Use The Platinum Rule workbook to put yourself and your projects in the best position to win. Download at http://www.platinumrule.com/PlatinumRuleeWorkbookPDF.pdf

The Platinum Rule® downloadable MP3 - Alessandra on the Platinum Rule MP3 provides the perfect in-depth overview of my entire Platinum Rule personality system without exhausting you with too many details. I've taken all the choice bits and comic gems from my 20+ years of presenting the Platinum Rule to Fortune 500 companies and put it all down right here on this one hour MP3 you can download instantly. http://alessandra.com/prvideo/files/download.aspx?sFileName=pr1.mp3

Additional Platinum Rule® Resources

Bibliography/Additional Reading

  • Alessandra, Tony, Ph.D., and Michael J. O'Connor, Ph.D. 1996. The Platinum Rule®. New York, NY: Warner Books.

  • DeVille, Jard. 1979. Nice Guys Finish First. William Morrow & Company.

  • Hunsaker, Phillip, Ph.D., and Anthony J. Alessandra, Ph.D. 2010. The NEW Art of Managing People. Free Press.

  • Jung, C.G. 1923. Psychological Types. London: Pantheon Books.

  • Littauer, Florence. 1986. Discover the Real You by Uncovering the Roots of Your Personality Tree. Waco, TX: Word Books.

  • Mehrabian, Albert. 1971. Silent Messages. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

  • Merrill, David, and Roger Reid. 1977. Personal Styles and Effective Performance. Chilton Book Company.

  • Tagiuri, Renato, and Luigi Petrullo. 1958. Person Perception and Interpersonal Behavior. Stanford, CA: Stanford University Press.



You assume full responsibility, and Alessandra & Associates, Inc. and Dr. Tony Alessandra (together, the “Stipulated Parties”) shall not be liable for, (i) your use and application of The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment, (ii) the adequacy, accuracy, interpretation or usefulness of The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment, and (iii) the results or information developed from your use or application of The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment. You waive any claim or rights of recourse on account of claims against the Stipulated Parties either in your own right or on account of claims against the Stipulated Parties by third parties. You shall indemnify and hold the Stipulated Parties harmless against any claims, liabilities, demands or suits of third parties. The foregoing waiver and indemnity shall apply to any claims, rights of recourse, liability, demand or suit for personal injury, property damage, or any other damage, loss or liability, directly or indirectly arising out of, resulting from or in any way connected with The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment, or the use, application, adequacy, accuracy, interpretation, usefulness, or management of The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment, or the results or information developed from any use or application of The Platinum Rule Behavioral Style Assessment, and whether based on contract obligation, tort liability (including negligence) or otherwise. In no event will the Stipulated Parties be liable for any lost profits or other consequential damages, or for any claim against you by a third party, even if one or more of the Stipulated Parties has been advised of the possibility of such damages.